Manifesting & the Detachment Paradox Solved

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I can tell the most frustrating aspect of manifesting is detachment.

You’re telling me that I’m supposed to want to manifest something, but then not care if I manifest it?

That seems like one big fat paradox and loads of crap to me.

This is how some people feel about manifesting. However, while pondering it last evening in relation to my upcoming meeting with a potential future purveyor of my orgonite pyramids,  some truths became very evident.

The reason it is so important to completely detach from the “what” of what the object of your manifesting might look like is this: In doing so you are closing yourself off to the potential of something better, and your neediness actually repels the object of your desire.

Is there any way to know what that something better may look like from your current vantage point? NO. So don’t even try.

Let’s break this down further and look at all the benefits of practicing detachment in manifesting.

  • Number 1: Detachment does not mean you don’t care. Care up a storm! But care about the end result, not the middle stuff. I will do my best and try my best and prepare for my upcoming meeting with this business owner to the best of my abilities. I care a ton about this meeting. But if it doesn’t pan out… well ok I will feel a little gutted probably, but I’ll also be able to pull myself back together and keep on keeping on.
  • Number 2: If your first attempt doesn’t pan out, then YAY! You’ve got everything prepared to do it again PLUS you’ve likely learned a few things about what not to do next time and you’re no longer green in the gills.Note: Doing Number 2 means that you have to re-frame what is seen by typical people as “failure”. There’s no such thing as failure, just many learning lessons of what not to do. I think some famous person said something similar to that sometime in the past.
  • Number 3: If you’ve embraced Number 1 and Number 2 you will act as calm as a cucumber when you go into “the situation” (I use quotation marks because “the situation” will differ but feel equally as immensely important for everyone). You will not give off that icky gicky “I need this or I will literally die” vibe. That’s not attractive. Nobody likes that. And energetically it’s like manifesting repellent.

I know, I know, I’ve made it sound intellectually very easy to embrace detachment and I fully acknowledge that living and doing it is a whole ‘nother thing. BUT…

If you do start to embrace detachment while manifesting then little by little it will get easier.

Just like getting back to running after 2 months off was painful and my pathetic muscle strength and cardio was embarrassing to myself. But after 3 weeks, oh the glorious 3 week mark! The endorphins were flowing once again and my muscles and cardio were no longer pathetic.

I’m not saying that after 3 weeks of practicing detachment in manifesting you will be a master and love every minute of it. I am saying that you will get more in the flow, neuropathways will begin to form that will begin to make things easier.

Allow that dangling carrot to motivate you. As well as the carrot of manifesting ultimately being more successful and rewarding.

And remember – no matter what happens, either way you will be ok. Take a deep breath and repeat that to yourself several times.

Perhaps you have already tried detachment in manifesting. Any interesting results to share? Comment below!

Love and Light,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

How to Talk Your Ego Out of a Tantrum

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Oh yes ego – you would love it if I never changed, never ventured out into “scary” new territory, and just played it safe till I died.

But I’m not wired that way. Not even close.

My life has been one of jumping into new situations and countries and levels of consciousness.

Very recently I signed up for and began studying Soul Realignment Level 3. My teacher Andrrea Hess calls it the super geeky ninja level Akashic Record reading level!

It’s been 4 years since I completed Soul Realignment Level 2, mind you, I did complete the Soul Manifesting Blueprint and Reading the Future in the Akashic Records programs since then too…

But back to the main point – it’s been 4 years since I did Level 2! I never felt like I even wanted to do Level 3 at all ever, lol.

And then…. I guess I finally reached the point where I yearned for more in depth knowledge. I wanted to go deeper. How does the Soul Blueprint exactly work? What other Master Guides are available to me? What deeper levels of Soul work can I offer my clients?

The curiosity and desire was there!

This is a key important piece – if you have the desire and you can tell it comes from a Soul inspired place, that is gold. That means you’re meant for it.

However, when I started working through the Level 3 lessons, that’s when my ego started freaking the ef out.

This happened when I did Level 1 and when I did Level 2, so now I’m onto it. And even though these ego tantrums do distract me and make it hard to push on, just the knowing helps a lot.

Piece 1 is the enthusiastic desire for the change or learning, then piece 2 is the ego freaking out.

So my questions for you are:

  • Do you currently know or can you identify your ego’s “defense” / distraction tactics?
  • What can you do to ease your ego through the transition so you can keep moving forward?

For me, my ego goes into hyper skeptic and critic mode. It finds a way to criticize everything about the new content I’m learning and then slaps on a thick layer of doubt about its validity.

My ego would love it if I threw all the lessons in the trash and never looked at them again.

A brilliant life coach I worked with years ago taught me that a way to deal with ego tantrums is to placate it. Tell your ego that it will be ok. You’re just going to try this out and see what happens.

This is piece 3 on the path of growth into new territory – getting your ego on board for the ride.

There’s no need to get healing work done for blocks, force your way forward, or spin off into trying to fix or deal with the fears.

Gentleness is the best tactic.

Tell your ego that you’ve done this before. You’ve made leaps in learning and big changes and yes they were new and scary but now they’re normal. Just like this present newness will in turn become normal too.

Cheers to big growth!

Love and light,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

Why Discernment is SO Important for Soul Inspired Growth

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When you expand into new ways of being you best believe there are going to be growing pains and you best be ready for them.

Remember being a teenager and hitting a growth spurt? I don’t either, but I know it happened 😁

During that time, our physical bodies were literally expanding, pushing never before pushed limits.

That’s what’s happening for you energetically when you go through a growth phase too.

You are pushing new limits and expanding into new territory. But the difference between the two is that during your current growth phases you have the choice NOT to grow.

We always have a choice.

So the key – granted you do want to grow – is to discern what is a new choice that will move you forward vs what would be the same old choice that would keep you where you’re at.

Just because a new opportunity arises does NOT mean it’s a new choice. Be very careful to discern when a new opportunity is actually a choice you’ve already been making.

When you’re able to discern that and to see that the particular opportunity will actually keep you stuck in the same loop – it’s time to make a new choice!

Saying No to an opportunity can seem like the exact wrong thing to do, but I’m telling you – it’s quite the opposite when it comes to doing Soul inspired growth.

Two questions to ask yourself to help you discern whether to be a Heck Yes or a Big No to an opportunity are:

  1. Does this opportunity A: uphold the exciting energy of who I’m becoming, or B: does it have the same energy of who I was before?
  2. Does this opportunity A: feel expansive and aligned to who I know I am at Soul level, or does it B: feel contracted and part of old habit patterns that I no longer want to be in?
If you answer Yes to part A in both questions then YAY – move forward with that sh!t and grow and glow!

If you answered Yes to part B of either of them then… You know what you gotta do – suck it up and say No to the opportunity.

I hope you’ve found this helpful and I’d love to hear your feedback on it 💛✨

And if you’re having trouble discerning the old from the new or want support in making Soul aligned choices – email me! I can help 😊
Love and Light,
Twyla K
Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

Soul Aligned vs “Shoulding” in Manifesting

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The #1 most important and foundational piece to manifesting is your intention.

You can take all the classes on manifesting you want and apply technique after technique, but if your intention is off – then it’s all for naught.

A fire won’t start without a spark, and in the same way – your manifesting won’t take off unless you have that spark of desire and passion.

It’s really funny / sad how in the manifesting workshops and 1:1 sessions I do, I see people shooting themselves in the foot before they even get out of the gate.

Then when they leave the gate they’re hobbling and forcing it and not enjoying any of the process, obviously, because it’s painful to run with a hole in your foot.

Why do they do this? Because their intention is more of a “should” than something that is truly Soul aligned and lights them up.

So they say they want it, and often they believe it’s something they should want, but if we dig a little deeper – WHICH I LOVE DOING! Then it becomes clear that there is zip zero nada passion behind it.

And this goes for me too! There are goals I’ve set for myself that either went nowhere or when I reached them I was like – yayyyy…. fizzle fizzle fizzle…. Because I didn’t actually care about them and they didn’t create abundance for me.

The two foundational questions to ask yourself every time you set a big intention are:

  1. Is this aligned to who I truly am at Soul level?
  2. Does this light me up, get me excited, and feel expansive?

The key is you need to get a YES to both questions.

I may get all jazzed up about something and get a big yes to Question 2. For example, I was really fired up about writing a book last year and set that as my intention.

But then when I went to Question 1 this year and checked if it’s aligned to me at Soul level…. I got a big NO.

Now, I could write a guidebook because at Soul level I am good at training, so there’s a little loophole I can wiggle into there if I want.

Regardless, the main point is that I did not get a YES to both questions and therefore if I went ahead and wrote a traditional book it would not bring me abundance.

And to be fair, writing a book isn’t a manifesting intention. It’s a to do. It can be a normal intention for sure, but since we’re talking about manifesting I need to clarify that it’s not something to manifest.

Manifesting relates to attracting things you have no control over into your experience, i.e., money, people and opportunities.

But you still want to ask yourself those 2 questions for regular intention setting too. Because they will help you weed out intentions that won’t bring you abundance.

If you want to answer Question 1 but you don’t know who you are at Soul level, then it may be time to get a Soul Profile reading with me. It’s a big deal to understand and connect to your Soul Gift and Divine Nature!

In conclusion – if there’s something you set as an intention to manifest and it’s just not happening – ask yourself the two questions above. Then if needed, revise your intention till it does get you a big YES to both questions.

Love and light,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

How to do “Start Agains”

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“Start again….”

A deep man’s voice with a heavy Indian accent drones from the speakers.

“Start again…” The voice instructs me and nearly 100 others again in the meditation hall, all sitting as still as possible on our square cushions.

It’s 1pm in the afternoon and I’ve started again 4 times already today! Frustration rising, observing frustration, frustration begins to lessen.

I wonder why I can’t just be where I want to be NOW without putting in this effort to start again and again…

“Start at the top of the head and keep your attention moving down, keep moving down to the tips of the toes, observing all sensations you find as you go.”

This flashback to my last 10-day silent meditation course is one of the distracting mental memories that popped into my head this morning as I finally got back on my own meditation cushion at home after not being able to meditate for 2 days.

A nasty flu, flu #2 of 2018, knocked me out pretty badly this week to the point where I couldn’t focus or sit long enough to meditate.

Missing 2 days, I notice that it’s harder to get back into the focused state needed when I am able to sit and meditate again.

And missing even one day somehow makes it easier and tempting to miss another day, and then another, oh, and since you’ve already missed three, why not miss another day? It won’t hurt anyone….

To be honest I did try to meditate yesterday and it didn’t go so well, but I tried. I started again where I was.

Today I was able to sit for 30 minutes. Not yet the full hour I’d like, but this is what I’m capable of right now.

I also haven’t been able to get out running while I’ve been ill so that’s another area I’ll need to get back into once I feel well enough.

That inner critic voice that demands 110% every time can be quite sneaky too because it likes to tell you that if you can’t do it right, don’t do it all.

Well, I’m here to tell you the opposite.

There is no “right”, there’s only what you’re capable of right now and whatever that looks like is good enough.

When I get back on the running path, I may be jogging and I may have to take frequent breaks. SO WHAT.

It’s better to start again “badly” than never start.

Throughout life there are so many times where we have to start again, and each time it takes discipline, willpower and resolve.

This illness likely could and would have gone on and on. I’m sure my pajamas wouldn’t have minded if I’d continued being sick – a happy change for them since they’re used to only being slept in at night, not worn all day.

But… since I have two workshops this weekend, I decided yesterday (after finally admitting that my swallowing broken glass level of pain sore throat was not just going to go away on its own) that I was going to kick this asap.

I went to see the doctor, was told I can be better in as little as 24 hours, got some (ok – a lot of) meds, still have 1 day (today) to recover fully before tomorrow 😄

So that’s that.

All this makes me think about the bigger “start agains” in life too – like for example when Sang died and I had to start life as I knew it over again.

That one took a lot more time and effort and involved many smaller start agains within it.

The size of start agains can vary greatly.

But some things that can help you get moving forward again are:

  1. Giving yourself a set amount of time to go through the tough part – whether that’s grief, or illness, or sometimes it’s even happy things like vacations or holidays where you allow yourself to eat whatever you want. After the set amount of time is up though, you gotta get back to it. It’s time to take action or make plans or get back on the meditation cushion or running path.
  2. If you’re confronted with a bigger start again, see if you can break it down into smaller more manageable pieces. It’s not realistic to expect yourself to do everything at once, that just sets you up for frustration and likely failure. So break it on down into little pieces and start there.
  3. Make the decision that you’re going to get back to it, whatever it is. Just that can begin to shift things – trust me. Set a time or day for it too, that grounds the decision.
  4. Remember and connect to why you want to do it. Meditation is a staple in my life, it keeps me balanced and calm and sane. Running is important because it keeps me fit and helps me sleep. So when I think about that, I am eager to get back to them.

Happy starting again 😊

Love and light,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

What is Sacred?

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As I worked on a Spirit Guide Reading this morning, something really big hit me:

This is beautiful and sacred work.

The word that stuck out most was SACRED.

Then I thought, in our day-to-day lives, there is so much that is not sacred: fast food, road rage, mind-numbing work to name a few things.

What is sacredness even? What does that word mean to you? What feelings and deep Soul stirrings does it invoke in you?

The work I do is not plugging in to the 9-5 routine. Even though I’m a modern day kinda mystic – I channel Spirit Guide messages onto my MacBook – there is still something deeply sacred and reverent in what I do.

What hit me this morning though was this: we can bring the sacred into all we do.

I want you to sit with that a while. Let it steep. Let ideas on how to do it percolate. Allow answers to come from your Soul.

How can you make every action, interaction, intention a reverent one?

Reverence is simply doing something with deep respect. And one of the definitions of the word sacred is connection to God / Spirit / Source / Creator (or whatever word resonates for you).

Can you imagine what life would be like if you treated everything you did and others did as sacred? I can! And I think it would be freaking fantastic…

This week’s blog is short, sweet and sacred. I do not want to dilute the main message.

In love, light and truth,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

When Losing is Winning

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hard-drive-failure

On January 15, 2018, I got the news that no one ever wants to hear: Your hard drive has failed and there’s no way to recover it. You need to get a new hard drive.

The Apple expert I’d spent way too many hours on the phone with over the past week tried to say it in the nicest possible way, but it didn’t help.

At first I felt gutted.

5 years of customizations, downloads, music – gone. I tried desperately time and again to do a backup, but each time it failed.

But then I realized – I can look at this a different way. I can see it as an opportunity to start afresh on a clean technical slate.

And on a side note – luckily I was able to revive my MacBook long enough to copy files from my desktop to my external hard drive, so I didn’t lose everything.

I did “lose” a lot though.

Files I hadn’t looked at in years. Music I no longer liked. Movies I’d never watch twice.

Why was I keeping them? Why was I so attached to them? Attached to things that didn’t mean anything or have any value to me…

These things were taking up space, space I could use for things I actually wanted and liked and would be useful to me now.

So it was actually really liberating to “lose”.

This experience made me question what other areas of my life I’m holding on to things that have long since lost their value. Holding on for the sake of holding on.

Do you have anything like that?

Perhaps it’s actual physical objects that you seriously never use. Or file folders you haven’t looked at in ages. Maybe it’s emotional clutter or mental clutter – you’re holding onto past hurts that now are only hurting you.

Whatever area you’re feeling intuitively guided to clean out and upgrade, now is a fantastic time to do it!

Tackle the task with enthusiasm and know you are doing really good and important work.

While it will take effort to build my MacBook up again, I’m doing it in a way that is aligned to who I am now – not who I was 5 years ago.

So my final thought for you is – once you do the work of clearing things out, what glorious more Soul-aligned things and ways of being can you take action to bring into your life?

This week’s blog is a little shorter than typical posts because I’m just emerging from the grips of the dreaded cedar fever that’s knocking out San Antonian’s left and right. If you live here too – I hope you’re ok!

In Love, Light and Truth,

Twyla K

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover what they truly want, what’s blocking them, and what they can do about it. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

3 Truth Bombs to Bring You More Peace in 2018

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Meditating 9 to 10 hours a day for 10 days straight envelops you in a weird microcosm bubble.

Within this bubble, meditation experiences hold brilliant analogous truths for life as a whole.

While many arose, came to light, then faded away into the distance over the recent 10 day silent meditation course I just finished, some big ones stood out and I’d love to share them with you. Hopefully they help you start the new year more “in the now” and help you avoid unnecessary misery and suffering in 2018.

#1: You have to start where you are, aka, See the reality as it is – not as you would like it to be

Oh my god this was such a big one I can’t even tell you! For the first 7 days I kept comparing my current meditation experience to past ones.

Why can’t I have this or that amazing experience??? I kept thinking this, dwelling on the great things that happened in the past instead of where I was currently at and what was really happening in the now.

HUGE misery created! And by misery I mean physical pain. To sit still without moving for 1 hour straight in the Adhiṭṭhāna (strong determination) sittings, you have to have extreme mental focus, and when I was thinking about the past and craving, I did not have the needed focus and so experienced a lot of pain 😫

Finally around Day 8 at the Adhiṭṭhāna sittings I was able to be 100% OK with exactly where I was at and what I was experiencing. And only then was I able to begin making progress again and get through the 1 hour without moving.

So my questions for you are – Where are you living in the past and how is that holding you back? What delusions do you have about what “should” be happening, which are keeping you stuck because you’re denying reality?

#2: Dhamma, the law of nature, will work for you to get you what you want, but it takes time and continued effort

So many people want to run a spiritual bypass on life! They want to magically get from point A to point B without doing any work in the physical.

Well my friends, that ain’t gonna happen and the longer you delude yourself that it will, the longer you stay stuck in misery.

Apparently I don’t – or rather DIDN’T, lol, because post-meditation course I now DO 😁 – have a lot of patience. I wanted to magically be at an advanced point in meditation immediately without putting in the time and effort.

And when that didn’t happen, I went into push push push push push push push mode… I tried to use my mind to force the progress, and in doing so, I lost the balance of my mind and therefore actually started digressing!

I’m sad to say that this went on for a while until I finally found my inner balance.

And once I did, well, everything changed. When I trusted dhamma and did the work, trusted that if I just kept following the technique and maintained my balanced mind I would progress – I did in leaps and bounds.

But in order to do so, I had to let go of my tight grip on the reins and let go of the delusion I could magically get far ahead asap.

It can be scary to let go of control and to keep walking down a path even though you’re not seeing results. What if dhamma doesn’t work? What if what I want doesn’t happen? I also had to let go of the wanting.

Balance is of utmost importance, for when you have that, you have everything because you are truly ok with anything.

So my questions for you are – Where are you pushing, where are you super attached to an outcome, where are you not trusting that things will work out one way or the other? In what areas do you need to bring in more balance? In what areas are you trying to run a spiritual bypass, wanting magical results, and not putting in the time and work?

#3: A lot of your mental energy is wasted on shit that doesn’t matter

Holy f*ck did this ever become apparent to me as I observed all the stupid things I think about! And I don’t just think about them once, I think about them over, and over, and over again…

In our day-to-day lives we don’t take the time to observe our thoughts and so they run rampant. But given 10 days of silence … all I could do was observe my thoughts.

It’s not about coming from a place of judgment and condemning yourself for thinking stupid things. It’s the nature of the mind to wander off and it’s up to us to train it to focus by bringing it back.

So consider this – what if you were actually in control, you were able to train your mind to stay focused and not run around like a crazy monkey?

What would be possible then? What amazing things could you use your mental capacity to create in your life?

These were questions I pondered and got some great answers to over the 10 days.

And honestly this is why I try my best to do a 10-day meditation every 1-2 years – because in day-to-day life my mind gets unbalanced and starts chattering like a monkey again.

Having 10 days to bring it back to center is essential for me. I work out my body, so it makes sense to me to work out my mind too.

So my questions for you are – What stupid, useless, repetitive thoughts are cluttering up your mind? What can you do to either release them, resolve them, or shut them down? With the freed up mental energy, what incredible things can you focus on now?

In Love, Light, and Truth,

Twyla K

 

If you feel like your mind has you running around in circles and you would just love some help getting clear and organized, let me know, email me!

 

Why it’s Worth it to Dust Yourself Off and Try Again

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Spying on monkey families, plotting how to provoke one of them to bite me – this was the best solution I could come up with for how to get out of my first 10-day meditation course in India with my dignity intact.

It was not an option just to get up and leave – I was not a quitter. But if I could just get a cute little grey baby monkey to bite me… Then I’d have a legitimate reason to leave, right?

It seems strange now to think I’d risk getting rabies just to get out of a meditation course, but that’s where I was at 13 years ago.

I’d never meditated or even done yoga before and there I was diving head first into one of the most difficult meditation programs ever!

Physical pain, hunger, living in a make-shift tent crammed next to 2 other ladies I didn’t know… And then on Day 4 onwards having to sit without moving for 1 hour straight, three times a day! It was torture.

But something deep inside me obviously knew that doing this was going to be worth it, probably a part of me that had done it in past lifetimes and already knew the great benefits.

By the end of the 10 days I’d found something so valuable that I’d been craving all my life but never knew existed. I’d had my first glimpse into naturally attained inner peace, and it was wonderful.

I say naturally attained because I’d found synthetic ways to achieve what I thought were nirvanic states before, but they were fleeting and left me feeling empty after.

At my second 10-day meditation course in Thailand a year later I was sailing through. “I got this, I’m a pro, nothing can touch me” – were thoughts going through my head.

That was, until Day 6.

On Day 6 at the end of the final evening sit I left the pagoda meditation hall feeling immortal. When I saw hoards of tiny ants on my sandals, I thought, “Ha! You can’t hurt me. I have attained equanimity and am impervious to pain.”

So I slipped on my sandals and slipped into a world of pain that I could not in fact handle.

Each little ant hated me and bit furiously into my flesh. They didn’t know I was the owner of the sandals they were on. Or what sandals were. They were just defending themselves.

And defend they did… Bite after stinging bite they inflicted vengeance on me. Some even burrowed their little heads into my leg.

These tiny creatures brought me to my knees and back into reality. Just because I had a balanced mind and was reaching deep states of meditation did not mean I could somehow bypass what happened in the physical world.

I went to my cot and cried and cried and cried. I felt like a failure, I felt defeated, I felt like I wanted to give up and never meditate again.

And then eventually as the pain wore off I slept.

The next day as the first gong sounded at 4am, I took a deep breath.

I made up my mind that I was going to stick with it and that day I had the most incredible meditation experience I’ve ever had – even to this day. It was indescribable.

It was the first time I experienced being one with Source and it changed my life.

What I hope these two tales from my early meditation course days have helped you see is this: That on the other side of our darkest times are our biggest breakthroughs.

We go through them as a sort of right of passage. Do you want what lies on the other side? Really?

Achieving greatness in life and living our truth requires dedication and determination. It requires getting back up when we’re knocked down and trying again.

Failure isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of the next attempt.

As you look back over 2017 and notice that you maybe didn’t accomplish everything you wanted, or you encountered some big setbacks and got off track, see it as an opportunity to try again.

An opportunity to try a new way, a different approach.

But do not do not do not let any of your dreams die. You feel them for a reason and they are attainable. The really valuable things in life are worth working for.

In love, light and truth,

Twyla K

Side note: I’m actually in the middle of my 8th 10-day meditation course right now, but thanks to Hootsuite I’m able to deliver this to you without even being there : ) Yay technology!

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover their blocks, what they truly want, and get their soul sparkle for life back. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!

Positive Thought Process for when Adversity Strikes

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Christmas teeth

All I want for Christmas is my one front tooth! WAH!

I am going to share something with you that I’m embarrassed about – I have been missing my left front tooth since August. It’s been horrible. It’s a long story, but essentially a tooth I’d had root cannalled before just popped off one day while I was flossing.

No, I haven’t been walking around toothless! I have a temporary one I use during the day.

But it’s been really crappy.

And so when I was told that my new crown was finally finished after having so many appointments, and I went in to the dentist yesterday to get it put on for good. But I ended up leaving in the same state I’d arrived in….

Yeah, I was crying my eyes out, hating life, hating my situation, there was a lot of negativity going on…

And I wanted to feel crappy. I did not want cheering up. I wanted to wallow. So I did.

For 1 day.

4 years ago when I was in the depths of grief, a counselor told me that it’s good to feel the emotions, it’s necessary to process them, but it’s not a place to stay. She taught me to put a time limit on how long I would stay in my super sad crying states.

This process stuck with me.

And this experience helped remind me what it’s like to get my hopes WAY up and then have them smashed. It sucks.

To be honest, when life is going along swimmingly, it can be hard to remember what feeling gutted is like. So in a strange way, this was a helpful experience to remind me that I’m not above having issues. Oh no, I’m not : )

Shit happens. And this brings up two big important points:

  1. Being spiritual does not mean your life will be perfect, that you will be trial and tribulation free. That’s not realistic. We are still living in this human 3D experience, and so human 3D issues will still pop up. Being spiritual does mean that you will have the tools to handle it better.
  2. It takes self-control and making a choice to shift from feeling shitty into an, at minimum, not so shitty state. A life coach I worked with described it as unplugging from one state like telephone operators did back in the day to switch lines. Then plugging into a state that was slightly happier. It didn’t mean leaping into ecstasy, that’s unrealistic and sets you up for a nice big fall back down. No, it’s a gradual, day-by-day process where I intentionally climbed out of the grief hole I was in.

To return to point 1 for a moment, I found Cathy Catching’s book Healing with Angel Talk to have some great advice on healthy perspectives to have when adversity hits.

After the initial and very natural/normal emotional reaction storm passes there are two potential positive perspectives you can use:

  • Understand that the event was purposeful and so even though it sucked, it needed to happen. You may not understand why it had to happen at this time (or ever), but trust that it needed to. This allows you to detach from needing to “get to the bottom of it”, which is a huge deal because it frees you up mentally, emotionally and energetically to move forward.
  • The event was simply not that important. Like I said before, sometimes shit happens. Again, the longer you dwell on it and stay stuck, the longer it will take you to dust yourself off and start creating what you do want again.

If you can make the above thought process into a habit, it can become a very valuable tool in navigating future adverse events.

And as for my tooth, at the end of my sad day I told myself, “Tomorrow is a new day.” I set the intention to be in a more positive mindset and I did wake up feeling better.

While angry thoughts at my dentist are still flitting through my head, they are less consuming. I called other dentists and got quotes so I feel empowered and I am even more determined to get my new tooth now.

In love, light, and tooth – I mean truth,

Twyla K

 

Twyla K is the owner of Soul Shine Healing & Coaching. She offers Clarity Sessions to help people who are tired of feeling stuck uncover their blocks, what they truly want, and get their soul sparkle for life back. Click Here to apply for a Clarity Session today!